Managing

My girl and I...overlooking the Caldera in Santorini, Greece

A few months ago I took part in an online Twitter chat with others who have/care for someone who has diabetes. I can't remember the exact topic, but it had to do with 'controlling' diabetes. The discussion was fast and furious, and in my not-so-tech-savvy way I followed along, and even commented a few times when the urge struck.

What absolutely amazed me about the discussion was how wide the disease varied. There were the Type 2 diabetics who just watched what they ate, and the 'brittle' type 1's, who were just hanging in there. How do you 'control' something that affects people so differently? How can you keep your thumb down on something affected by so many variables?

In our house, we 'manage' diabetes. There's no controlling.

It's a delicate balance. My daughter does EVERYTHING a normal 8 year old does, from summer camp to somersaults. She eats sugary foods (sparingly, but no different than our other children). She swims, she dances, she rides horses...she flies across time zones and she canoes in the back-country.

Only sometimes in 'Dunnes vs Diabetes' the balance swings against us. Thursday, for example. Cell phone rings at work. It's the school calling...daughter's sugar levels are so high the test kit won't even register them (For those who aren't familiar with test levels, that's almost 5 times normal levels). A few suggestions, and I get back to work. An hour later, another phone call. During a recess martial arts lesson, another child accidentally ripped out daughter's catheter site. No catheter = no insulin. She's already super-crazy high, so this is an emergency. Thankfully my co-workers and patients are very understanding. I drop everything at work, tear off to the school at mach 5 to remove the rest of the old site, clean and insert a new catheter. Forty minutes later I'm back at my job, and it's business as usual.

Make no mistake. Diabetes never sleeps. Some nights I don't either. No matter how perfectly we measure carbs and calculate ratios, we cannot control it. And sometimes life gets so hectic we forget something. Insulin. Site changes. A test kit. Extra juice. A hug.

So we manage.

And hope. And pray. And test, and test, and test again.

Tomorrow is another day.

The Waiting Game

Today is January 19th. In about 5 months the Dunne clan are going to pack up all of their worldly possessions and haul their little behinds to somewhere else. Possibly somewhere in this province. Possibly somewhere on this continent. Possibly somewhere on this planet.

Where, you ask? Heck knows! Your guess is as good as mine. We've known this posting was going to happen for more than a year. We kinda know where we are going. And we kinda know when. But other than prepping our house to sell (which, by the way, I'm avoiding right now by writing this blog...) there's not much we can do to prepare until we have our magical piece of paper..aka (deep reverberating theatrical voice) 'The Posting Message'. Dunh, dunh, dunh!

Patience is NOT my virtue.

I suck at waiting. Really. You'd think after 13 years as a military spouse, and seven family moves I'd have gotten used to this madness. If anything it's getting worse. I'm on the real estate websites every day. I'm searching the properties for sale in our local area. I'm researching schools. I'm cleaning out closets, going through books, weeding out the unnecessary crap that builds up in a house after a few years. I've warned, rewarned and warned again my work, kids teachers, extra-curricular activity organizers and friends. I'm sure they are sick to death of the endless mind-numbing babble. They humour me and ask socially appropriate questions--all the while questioning my sanity.

I think I could coin a syndrome here. 'Moving Madness'. "Pre-posting Parapsychosis". "Radical Relocation Radiculopathy". Or how about..

Pre-move
SYstemic
Condition of
Housing
Over-preparation

PSYCHO?

My husband is afraid to come home because he knows I'll pounce on him. "Any news?" "Any emails?" "Did you talk to anyone?" "Come look at the house I found in (insert city here)!" He has this slightly terrified, cautious grin when he comes through the door. I try hard. Really I do. But I HAVE TO KNOW! NOW!

The good news is, that when that glorious (or awful-depending on where it says we are going) piece of paper comes, I'll be ready! Pre-printed info sheets abound! The house will be ready to show! The application forms will be ready to send! I'll have the hotels selected for our house hunting trip, the houses to look at, and the restaurant for the third day's supper selected! Life will be good! We'll be moving forward!

And two years later I'll be doing it all over again!

There's no life like it.

Brenda

Blogshead Revisited

Days hubby was gone.....151

Days til he returns.....NONE!

Current Work In Progress... Editing 48,000 wd manuscript from NaNoWriMo


Well, so much for November and December. Ummm...I lost them somewhere in the snow. How is it that when life is complicated and crappy I find lots of time to blog, but when it's busy but good...? Not so much.

I could bore you with tons of details about how my wonderful hubby came home(my kids had absolutely NO IDEA until he was standing in front of them), I took part in and won NaNoWriMo (along with my three children), and had a great Christmas with family and friends locally and in my home town...but there were no major catastrophes, blood sugars stayed relatively normal (well, except for the emergency roadside site change in Montreal), and people were happy in my house. I was happy in my house. November and December were good.

Enter January.

Snow. Cold. Dark. Editing.

As much as I dislike the snowy, dark, frigid days of late January. Editing really makes me shiver.

I've been a really good girl. I put away my NaNo manuscript for almost six weeks. And now, for the first time since I did my final NaNo update on Nov 29th, I've taken it out and am reading it.

It's always a bit shocking the first time I read something I've written. I wrote that?? Me?? Cool. It's not bad! Seriously! Sure, it's not publishable material yet, but the feeling is there. My problem is taking that feeling and expanding it to something vortexy. Something that sucks you in and spits you out panting on the last page. The bones are there, but my editing skills are not. Help!!

So....instead of editing (my plan for the evening), I'm blogging. Hmmm...avoidance is the best policy. And as a working, writing, miltary spouse and mom of three kids, there's always something else to do than edit!! Laundry! Dishes! Vacuuming! Cleaning the kitty litter! Scraping boogies off the wall! The list is endless.

But those all sound too much like work.

I'd rather just sit here and talk to you.

Brenda

A Community Based on Trust.

Days since hubby deployed: 134

Days 'til he returns: currently unknown

Work In Progress: shelved for a bit, preparing for NaNoWriMo



As I write this, a sick, sick man is being tried for horrible, unthinkable crimes. Crimes committed here. Where I live, where I work. He was my husband's boss. In fact, he was the boss of thousands. And thousands more trusted him with their lives, their careers...their families. He abused that trust, using information he gathered through his power at work to stalk, steal, rape and murder. Where I live. Where I work. Where my children play. I thought he was a friend.

It's thrown me for a bit of a loop. You can't avoid the shocking testimony. It's on the cover of every local paper. On the television. On the internet. It's talked about in the grocery store. On Twitter. On Facebook. It's terrifying, sickening and it's very real, because it's right here. I keep my dog close. I triple check the doors and windows at night. Leave lights on outside. I hug my kids. I pray the time will go quickly and my husband will be home soon.

Miltary families are regularly thrown into situations where they have to trust complete strangers. We move. We rarely have extended family to depend on. Our spouses go away. Our commanders have access to information no civilian boss would. It is a system based on trust. Honor. Integrity. Respect. These are words that we live by. And this one man has threatened it all.

There are so many people I have had to trust in the past. Neighbours, babysitters, workmates, book club friends...people I've met through my husbands work, through military family resource centres, standing at kids' schools, waiting outside kids' activities. Some are miltary, some are civilian. My 'military family' includes people from across the globe. People I've had to depend upon. Wonderful, wonderful people that have listened to me when I needed a friend. Supported me. I am so thankful for each and every one of them. It's quite overwhelming to think of the wonderful friendships I've built over the years with people who started out as strangers. I hope I have been as valuable to them as they have been to me.

I debated a long time before discussing the fact that my husband was away on the internet. I didn't want to advertise the fact that he was away. Especially as his ex-boss was awaiting trial for preying on women who were home alone. But I want to share my experiences, maybe to help another deployed spouse, maybe to help others understand life in the military community.

I know this will pass. He'll be sentenced. The news will find something else new and shocking to cover. But my military family will endure. I won't stop trusting people just because of one man's hideous crimes. In fact, I will trust them more. Trust that we will keep each other safe.

Brenda

A Vacation in the Clouds

Days since hubby deployed: 122 That's four full months.

On my reading list: Actually, I'm not reading anything right now. Just finished all of Cassandra Clare's Mortal Instruments, and Clockwork Angel

Eagerly Awaiting: Crescendo. What's going to happen with Patch and Nora??

Current Work In Progress: About 17,000 wds. Sadly, I've not been at my computer much.



I am a lucky lady.

Seriously. I just got back from the absolute BEST vacation ever. 14 days of perfection. Five nights in Tuscany, two nights in Venice and seven nights cruising the Greek Islands on the Norwegian Gem. Bliss. And the best part? I got to spend the whole time with my wonderful husband! Sure, crossing the Atlantic (sans help)with my three children was a bit daunting. And the preparations required for two weeks of travel with a diabetic daughter were a little more than average...but so worth it.

We got to climb to the top of the Tower of Pisa. We crossed the Ponte Vecchio in Florence. We went horseback riding and drank locally produced wine in Tuscany(me sitting at our Tuscan villa at left) . We took a gondola ride through the canals of Venice(photo at top right), and a donkey ride up the cliffs of Santorini. And we were spoiled rotten on a beautiful cruiseship in the Aegean.

Travelling with kids may not be for everyone, but those who have read through my Dunnesinuk posts know that we are HUGE fans of it. While sitting in our apartment in Venice we were reading The Thief Lord by Cornelia Funke to the kids- and realized we'd had lunch in the very Piazza that Prosper and Bo were in. So Cool. And then we revisited many of the same places Tom and I had visited on our honeymoon thirteen years before- the kids got to see it first hand.

Unfortunately, at the end of all of this bliss my husband had to board a plane going one way, and we had to board our squishy-tight and very delayed transatlantic flight going the other way. All good things must come to an end. I'm not complaining-just stating a fact. I am very blessed to have had the opportunity. My kids were OUTSTANDING travellers. Even the stewardess on the flight stopped to tell me how impressed she was with their manners and behaviour (shameless brag). I was very proud of them. And I actually returned feeling refreshed- both physically and emotionally. I loved just about every minute of our trip, but I'm glad to be home. In two and a half months we'll all be together again, and family life can restart. Well, that is until we get the posting message that's due...

Hope you all had a great Canadian Thanksgiving.

Brenda

An Ode to September

September. Oh how I love thee. Fresh apples, blazing red leaves, sweaters and wood fires...

And let us not forget...BACK TO SCHOOL! Yippee! Today I walked three children to the end of the driveway and waved goodbye. Have fun kids! See ya later! And then, joy of joys, I was alone! And even better, today is my day off! Heaven. Oh, how I love September.

I took the dog for a run, came back into my (incredibly disasterous) house, lit a candle (to cover the reek of unwashed laundry) and sat down with a cup of lukewarm coffee. The sun came out. The humid air freshened to that early-fall crispness. And now I hear the leaves rustling in the breeze. Oh, how I love September.

September is the month where I finally get to take a breather. Kids in school, summer activities are gearing down, winter activities not quite geared up yet...the heat of August is over. The bitter, hateful January cold is still far away. There are still 3 months until I realize Christmas is two days away and I'm not finished shopping/wrapping/baking. Oh, how I love September.

And this September, there is something better. A break from deploymentland. In less than two weeks the kids and I will be on a plane. To Venice. Italy. Where we will be met, at the airport, by my wonderful husband. We'll drink wine in Tuscany, walk the narrow alleyways of Venice, then hop on a cruise ship for seven days of cruising the Greek islands. Does it get any better than that?

Oh, how I love September.

Limbo, Laundry, and Paddington Bear

Days since hubby deployed:75-not quite half way
On my reading list:
On Writing by Stephen King (I'm savouring this one, reading bits at a time and loving it)
My Name is Memory by Ann Brashares
Eagerly awaiting: Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins (Really eagerly awaiting)
Current Work in Progress- Adult fiction (something different!)- 15,000 wds and counting.

The evening's silence has descended(well, sorta- the dog is whining to go out and the cat is crying to come in), and I do believe my blood pressure has come down...so I'm taking the time to sit and write a few thoughts. The kids have been home from camp for all of about fifty hours and I'm already starting to feel frazzled. And really, it has nothing to do with the kids. Well, it has something to do with the kids, but it has everything to do with the dog. And hubby being gone now for over two and a half months. And being a physiotherapist at a busy clinic. And being a writer who hasn't enough time to write. And kids being kids- mess-making, sibling-picking, chore-grumbling, taxi-needing, money-gobbling kids.

As most of you know by now, my youngest has type one diabetes (ie.Jeuvenile diabetes-insulin dependent), so sending her to a non-diabetes camp was a bit of a leap of faith on my part. We have tried to give her a normal life since diagnosis two and half years ago. However, anything more than a sleepover requires alot of work, and a wholelotta trust. There are blood tests, carb counts, and pump site changes to be considered. But...if brother and sister were going to camp, so was she. And the best part about this camp--it was free to kids of deployed personnel. Yup. F-R-E-E. Well, except the medication that they gave my kid without my permission..but that's another story and I don't want this to be a camp-bashing blog.

So. Seven days without kids, without blood tests and the immediacy of diabetes, without fighting siblings, and constant taxiing...was pure bliss. I needed it. I'd like to say I cleaned the house from top to bottom, but NOPE. I didn't. I wrote. I read. I ate brie and rosemary foccacia. I hung out with my sister. And I slept. True respite.

All good things must come to an end.

I could suck it up, and act all happy and gushy, saying this is "sooo easy!"(said in an annoying high pitched voice)...but I want to be honest here. It's not. Two and half months of living in the limbo of deploymentland is getting to me. Things are starting to break down around the house. The pool vacuum started to spew sand instead of picking it up. My new laptop has not returned from the Geek squad guys, and the old one is painfully slow. Our prehistoric PC refuses to accept the internet stick. Our stockpiled lawntractor gas is gone. We're out of garbage tags, the bathroom sink is plugged, we have ants, and wasps, and a squirrel nesting somewhere our vents. The cat ran away for 5 days. And then the kids came back from camp with seven days worth of filthy laundry. Individually, these things would not bother me. Together, and combined with my partner/love/best friend being 8000km away...not so much.

I know, everyone wants to hear the socially acceptable: "Oh, I KNOW! I can't believe it's been almost three months!!!! Time is going so FAST!!!! We're all doing so well! :) We're almost halfway!!!" (complete with extra exclamation points and smiley faces) And really, the statements minus the expressions are true. But the glass can be half full or half empty- and the context in which you look at that glass determines the description.

I remember sitting with my friend, a few years ago, talking about what it means to be a military family. She was employed by the Military Family Resource Centre, and I was the Chairperson of the Board of Directors. We were working on deployment programming, I think; trying to help the younger members and their families cope with deployment stress. Somewhere in the conversation one of us used the phrase "Suck it up, princess!" God, I hate that phrase now. I HATE that I used it. I am ashamed that it even came up in our conversation. Deployed spouses should not be told to suck it up. Deployed spouses should be championed. They should be supported. They should be loved.

Anway, today was one of the days when the glass was half empty. It rained. The dog ate the butter out of the dish on the table. He ripped up his LLBean dog bed. Dirty laundry is still piled everywhere. The kids bickered. My daughter's post-camp blood sugars are completely out of whack. And I was a less than stellar mom through it all.

But tonight as the kids went to bed, they asked if mom would read them a book. Book reading used to be part of the bedtime ritual...but the kids read so much now (8 year old is reading HP and the Half Blood Prince), that I find it's hard to keep up with them. They chose tonight's book: The Paddington Bear story. It was wonderful. Snuggles, and memories of our visit to Paddington Station, what a great end to the day.

I came down and joined in on a little online chat with WriteOnCon organizers. More happy thoughts. And now I'm doing the thing that seems to be keeping me sane these days...writing for you.

Only three and a half months to go.

Brenda