Wednesday, October 20, 2010

A Community Based on Trust.

Days since hubby deployed: 134

Days 'til he returns: currently unknown

Work In Progress: shelved for a bit, preparing for NaNoWriMo

As I write this, a sick, sick man is being tried for horrible, unthinkable crimes. Crimes committed here. Where I live, where I work. He was my husband's boss. In fact, he was the boss of thousands. And thousands more trusted him with their lives, their careers...their families. He abused that trust, using information he gathered through his power at work to stalk, steal, rape and murder. Where I live. Where I work. Where my children play. I thought he was a friend.

It's thrown me for a bit of a loop. You can't avoid the shocking testimony. It's on the cover of every local paper. On the television. On the internet. It's talked about in the grocery store. On Twitter. On Facebook. It's terrifying, sickening and it's very real, because it's right here. I keep my dog close. I triple check the doors and windows at night. Leave lights on outside. I hug my kids. I pray the time will go quickly and my husband will be home soon.

Miltary families are regularly thrown into situations where they have to trust complete strangers. We move. We rarely have extended family to depend on. Our spouses go away. Our commanders have access to information no civilian boss would. It is a system based on trust. Honor. Integrity. Respect. These are words that we live by. And this one man has threatened it all.

There are so many people I have had to trust in the past. Neighbours, babysitters, workmates, book club friends...people I've met through my husbands work, through military family resource centres, standing at kids' schools, waiting outside kids' activities. Some are miltary, some are civilian. My 'military family' includes people from across the globe. People I've had to depend upon. Wonderful, wonderful people that have listened to me when I needed a friend. Supported me. I am so thankful for each and every one of them. It's quite overwhelming to think of the wonderful friendships I've built over the years with people who started out as strangers. I hope I have been as valuable to them as they have been to me.

I debated a long time before discussing the fact that my husband was away on the internet. I didn't want to advertise the fact that he was away. Especially as his ex-boss was awaiting trial for preying on women who were home alone. But I want to share my experiences, maybe to help another deployed spouse, maybe to help others understand life in the military community.

I know this will pass. He'll be sentenced. The news will find something else new and shocking to cover. But my military family will endure. I won't stop trusting people just because of one man's hideous crimes. In fact, I will trust them more. Trust that we will keep each other safe.



Melissa Gill said...

That is scary. I know how you feel about posting information on line, but sounds like you have a good security system. I felt the same way you did when a man who was a deacon in our church and whose son was a good friend of mine in HS, turned out to be a serial killer. It was terrifying to think of the many times I'd visited their home, when the father was there. At least he'd behind bars where he belongs.

Overdunne said...

It's shocking how people can do such despicable things and continue to lead a relatively normal existance. I always prided my self on my super-spideysense. Not even the slightest alarm went off in my head about this guy. Thankfully the trial is over, and we can all try to move on. Except the families of the murdered women, of course. And his poor wife... For them life will never be the same again.